A few new things that truly annoy me - Tucson Local Media: Editorials

A few new things that truly annoy me

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Posted: Tuesday, August 12, 2008 11:00 pm

I haven’t changed my mind since the last time we visited this topic. There are actions, things and people that defy likeability; they’re an annoyance to humankind. I doubt many animals could tolerate them. Nonetheless, the list continues expanding and here are some recent examples I’ve added to my list.

On several occasions I’ve been stopped at a traffic light and been approached by a person carrying a cardboard sign reading, “Can you spare some change?” Some of the more aggressive ones knock on my window — big mistake. Why are they presuming that my financial status is such that I’m lugging around an inconvenient amount of money?

Excuse me for being a bit pessimistic, but having read about a variety of panhandling scams across the country netting some alleged homeless folks thousands of dollars, I’m inclined to respond, “Yes, I do have some change, and I’m going into town to unburden myself of it.” Remember my time proven rule — DTA (Don’t Trust Anyone).

Another irritant is hearing someone say while standing in line, “Why are there so many people here, shouldn’t they be working?” Maybe the next time this happens, and it will, I’ll ask the complainer why they aren’t at work.

Have you ever searched for an item in a store, couldn’t find it or a stock clerk to assist you even after cruising every aisle in the place? Do merchandise stockers and customer assistance personnel hang out in the delivery area during prime shopping times, watch us on the security cameras and laugh as our frustration builds? I’m guessing yes, and the one operating the scanning camera is likely assigned to the department where my needed item is hiding.

Been to the movies lately? The current box office rage, Batman - The Dark Knight, runs three hours, but even with stunning action scenes throughout, that exceeds my attention span and my butt goes numb. However, before the “feature presentation” rolls, we’re bombarded with warnings about turning off all electronic devices, showing respect for other attendees by not talking during the presentation, and then provided a seemingly inexhaustible showing of upcoming movie clips running another half hour. I couldn’t give a rip about all of that superfluous junk, why can’t they show a really good cartoon; preferably one of the old roadrunner offerings from the ‘60s, and then get to the main attraction that I over paid to see?

Let’s revisit the noise issue; is management truly concerned about it? If so, why is the volume turned up to an ear-piercing level? I’m medically confirmed with a 50 percent bi-lateral hearing loss, yet my head nearly explodes from the absurd volume. My wife hears like a canine, wears shooting range ear plugs, and never misses a word of dialogue. Imagine the oncoming epidemic of hearing loss cases in today’s teenagers.

Upon exiting the theater an employee queried, “Would you take a brief survey regarding your theater experience today?” My wife kept walking, but I stopped to participate. The first question was, “Why did you come to the theater today? I couldn’t resist and said, “For nutritious, reasonably priced food.” She froze like a smoothie. I smiled and suggested that she go directly to the manager’s office with the survey and submit her resignation. Otherwise, her day could only go downhill.

Taken a commercial airport shuttle or taxi to the airport recently? If so, maybe you were seated next to some chatty stranger who offered, “Do you like to travel? I love it.” My response, “Darn right, I love it too; I’ve only been infected with one rare, undiagnosed disease, but I’m optimistic about the trial medication I’m taking.”

I’ve confirmed that frequent strenuous physical activity, anything other than a morning walk, results in immediate pain and prolonged muscle soreness. Challenging this premise and getting overambitious during one of my morning walks results in spending the day in bed or in my lounge chair. Many centurions suggest daily intakes of alcohol and tobacco products for ensuring longevity and good health; that’s looking better with each passing birthday.

I used to see clearly, now I’m seeing more of everything; the ophthalmologist calls them “floaters,” those exasperating black specs and hovering cobwebs. Sometimes I spastically swat at gnats and flies that don’t exist.

Political phone calls waste my time. I’m a voter, but I’m worn out by answering the phone and hearing canned crap being spewed from both political parties. Here’s a hint for every aspiring political candidate: Call me and I’m not voting for you.

An illogical assumption is resurfacing among adolescents, that age and intelligence are related. Apparently, someone overseas text messaged them that as people age their intelligence, common sense and logic automatically increase — no. Stupid older people were stupid younger people; youngsters should learn about the world by gathering information from a variety of sources and sorting it out for themselves, not mindlessly accepting every premise offered by someone older.

That’s just a few new items added to my ongoing list, but I’m confident that by year’s end I’ll have many more for you.

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