Santa exonerated by Pinal County Attorney’s Office - Tucson Local Media: News

Santa exonerated by Pinal County Attorney’s Office

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Posted: Friday, December 6, 2013 4:03 pm

Today, Pinal County Attorney Lando Voyles made a major announcement regarding the fate of Christmas and Santa in Pinal County.

In the Pinal County Attorney’s Office, facing incredulous and egregious charges, which were baseless, Santa and his reindeer have not been merry, as they remained absent and without a welcome sanctuary. 

For four long years, these festive and jovial characters were wrongly accused. Thereafter, forbidden from the offices of the Pinal County Attorney, were decorations left to be unused.

No trees were to be dressed. No ornaments to be hung. How dare one to think a jingle bell should be rung? Though some divisions and offices quietly decorated in defiance of such decrees, Santa and Christmas were banned from the hearts, minds, and offices of Pinal County Attorney employees.

Some say, that since that fateful day, workers existed in the doldrums of their offices, during what existed as a time of frivolity off premises.

With the arrival of Lando Voyles as the Pinal County Attorney, he found this bearded old man with his case to plea, insisting he was wrongfully banned and certain such a decision wouldn’t stand.

The newly-elected Pinal County Attorney decidedly reopened this case and found it appalling and depressing upon its face.

After outlining Pinal County Policy and ending exile’s legacy, Voyles welcomed the jolly ol' man’s return, with a lawyer’s warning of bear in mind one’s safety as a concern.

Cheers and rejoicing were said to be heard through the halls, when Voyles said, “This year, PCAO wishes each and everyone happy holidays and a very merry Christmas, from me to all.”

Merrily speaking with his reindeer in tow, Santa declared, “Let’s get to decorating the halls of your PCAO!”

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