He'd rather know who's getting killed, and why - Tucson Local Media: El Sol

He'd rather know who's getting killed, and why

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Posted: Tuesday, October 13, 2009 11:00 pm

The other day, my uncle Alan and I was having a conversation about what makes a slasher film such as Stewart Hendler's "Sorority Row" enjoyable. He said that there has to be an unreasonable large amount of blood, unique kills, and an interesting plot.

Unfortunately, "Sorority Row" lacked two of those three criteria and was extremely disappointing.

When the girls of the Theta Pi house find out that their friend Megan's boyfriend Garrett is cheating on her, they decide to play a prank on him. They fake Megan's death and they rush her to an old, unused mining location with the intents of making it look like they dropped her remains down a mine shaft. While trying to find rocks to dismember the body with, Garrett accidentally kills Megan for real and the girls know that they can not tell anyone because they are all responsible. Eight months later, the girls graduate, but somebody who knows comes back and stars picking off all of those responsible one by one.

I first saw the trailer for this in May in front of "Drag Me to Hell," and it looked pretty good. After actually sitting through the movie, I can not believe that I thought that. The film was a remake of the 1983 low-budget film "The House on Sorority Row" and with its terribly written script, uncreative kills and a fairly boring plot, the only thing it was missing was Michael Bay's direction.

What made the film so bad was the fact that they get into the prank before audience members can get connected with any of the characters. This made the movie, to me, boring. Who wants to watch a movie about random people getting killed? Not me; I prefer to get to know who getting murdered.

All in all, this is just another pointless remake. A scant half a star because quite frankly, remakes are getting old, so please Hollywood, come up with some new ideas.

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